


Make me feel like I used to

by Zalakbian



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Sex Addiction, Trans Female Character, Trans!Edelgard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:22:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24833782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zalakbian/pseuds/Zalakbian
Summary: Edelgard notices that Dorothea has been much more "active", both in and out of the bedroom. But there's nothing wrong with that, right?
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dorothea Arnault/My Unit | Byleth (mentioned), Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth (Mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Make me feel like I used to

**Author's Note:**

> I am not an expert in additions, let alone sex addiction, and if you need help, there are those who can. Please call your local hotline, change is possible.
> 
> If you like this, please consider joining to talk about it on the [Edeleth Discord Server](https://discord.gg/m2AVbJ3) I run! You can also [follow me on Twitter!](https://twitter.com/MariMari07_01)
> 
> Thanks to my best bud Raeza on twitter for helping to beta this fic!

This morning for Emperor Edelgard began like all hers did recently, with her being slowly aroused from sleep by a strange feeling across her legs. As she blinked and discarded the fragments of dreams which clouded her reality, Edelgard eventually remembered that she no longer slept alone at night. She slowly blinked an eye open, and saw familiar waves of chestnut hair fluttering before her. It had been well over four years since the Professor’s disappearance, and four years since the Emperor allowed another into her heart. It was talking to Dorothea about their mutual respect and feelings for Byleth that had allowed her to move on at least in part, and though it, both women learned to find a mutual yearning grow day by day. Edelgard still missed her teacher, and she still held out hope that they’d return, but she also sorely appreciated and needed the love and warmth that the songstress brought. Whether this tryst would develop into a lasting relationship, or if they would grow apart as hearts healed neither cared to discuss. They were going to live in the moment for all that was worth.

Edelgard smiled, and was about to reach forward to kiss the crown of Dorothea’s head, but the feeling on her thigh was too distracting. She wiggled a bit in order to free a hand for exploration, coming to the embarrassing realization that she was poking the songstress’ stomach down below. But before Edelgard could readjust herself or check if her bedmate was truly awake, a hand gently wrapped around her unusually erect member.

“Ah! Edie, sorry, sorry!” Dorothea quickly apologized in response to Edelgard’s sudden yelping. Now the two women were face to face, and both were beet red in the cheeks.

“Thea, please, not without asking first!” Edelgard admonished. She shut her eyes so as not to see her lover’s genuinely remorseful look, and raised a hand to rub at her weary face. “It’s too early…” Edelgard complained, head falling back against the feather pillow.

Dorothea for her part slowly reapproached, but only to kiss Edelgard’s cheek. It twitched happily in return, and both smiled again.

“I’m so sorry, Edie, I just thought it would be a tender way for you to wake up.” The songstress explained.

Edelgard reached up and kissed Dorothea. “It’s not unwelcome, just don’t surprise me please.” She reiterated.

The songstress sounded excited. “Then, would you…?”

“I’m much too tired, Thea, it’s too early.”

“Just lie on your back and I’ll take care of everything, you’ll easily be put back to sleep, trust me.”

Edelgard gave her answer by gradually rolling onto her back, with Dorothea wasting no time in mounting her lover. With Edelgard nodding in approval, Dorothea gently gripped the Emperor’s stiff as she guided herself down onto her. Reactions were immediate, Edelgard gasped, while Dorothea hummed sensually. From there the songstress rode her lover peacefully, enjoying Edelgard’s shuddering pants and little squirms from up above. Dorothea had already been busy grinding against the Emperor’s thigh for a good while before this, so her time came quite quickly. Following soon after was Edelgard, as she was much too tired to keep any sort of stamina up. She all but passed out as she came inside Dorothea, who just stood still and took it, even gyrating just enough to coax every bit out of her lover.

With the Emperor finished and well asleep again, Dorothea carefully retreated and rolled onto her own back in turn. It felt good to take care of business so early in the morning, but the songstress wasn’t satisfied yet. She stuck one hand down under the covers while the other squeezed at a tender breast. What she never realized though was that the resulting moans and noises from self pleasuring eventually woke Edelgard up again, who could only glance with equal parts intrigue and worry.

But there was nothing wrong with this, right? Both thought in unison.

…

It was only after Dorothea led Edelgard privately aside after the weekly war cabinet that she began to suspect that maybe something was amiss. She had started to ask the songstress what she needed, but Dorothea interrupted with a thundering kiss, pressing Edelgard against the wall. This wasn’t unwarranted either, and Edelgard sincerely welcomed the pleasurous interaction after a dreary, grim military council. But the speed at which Dorothea all but dragged Edelgard into the nearest empty room to begin this impromptu makeout session was a bit alarming, and Edelgard had to struggle to get enough space to ask for assurance that nothing was bothering the songstress.

“I just missed you, Edie.” Dorothea claimed.

“But it’s only been a couple hours.” Edelgard stated.

The songstress leaned forward and kissed her Emperor again, drawing them both into a slow, loving embrace.

“Any time away from you feels like eternity.” Dorothea declared, not wasting any further time before resuming their kiss. Eventually the songstress’ hands found their way to Edelgard’s rear, and she let her roam further. Wanting to experiment just how far Dorothea was looking to go, Edelgard broke away from the songstress’ lips to give a small love bite on her collar. Dorothea moaned openly and loudly, and she began to rub against the Emperor’s thighs once again. The reaction was all she needed.

“Thea… right now, here?” Edelgard sincerely asked, and Dorothea desperately nodded.

“I need you so much, please.” The songstress pleaded.

Edelgard sighed, but still hoisted Dorothea up, carrying her over to a desk in the room that she intended to use. Once sat down, both women hiked their dresses and bottoms just enough to make contact, with Edelgard gladly plowing Dorothea into the desk. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Edelgard did enjoy her lover’s thirst. Making love like this was always a welcome distraction from the near constant death and warfare, and one of a few pleasures left that would bring a smile to her face. She wondered if that was how Dorothea felt, and that she just needed more of it, a recent trend she had observed but never thought about until now. Nevertheless, Edelgard was happy to provide all that she could, even if the songstress’ growing desire was outpacing her own.

“Edie… harder…” Dorothea begged, and Edelgard obliged.

She thrusted faster and harder, and Dorothea sang for her Emperor, but there was more.

“Close… more, stay in…” Dorothea urged, and Edelgard hesitated.

She was close as well, but the request alarmed her. “Thea, I don’t think-” But before Edelgard could finish, Dorothea reached forward and wrapped her arms around Edelgard’s torso, locking the two together. From here it was just a few more mutual pulses until both lost their grip and climaxed, with Dorothea not letting go until she was sure that both were spent. The songstress then collapsed back onto the desk, half panting and laughing while Edelgard was left to collect her thoughts.

“Dorothea, this is quite reckless, don’t you agree?” Edelgard cautioned.

The songstress stayed flat on the table as she spoke. “We’ll be fine, and besides, this way there’s no mess on either of our clothes.”

Edelgard rubbed her forehead in stoic agreement, walking over to Dorothea and putting her garments back together before ruffling out her own.

“You are at least keeping track of your cycle?” She questioned, and Dorothea readily nodded.

“Last week, Edie, you really ought to pay more attention.” The songstress clarified.

Edelgard helped Dorothea back up to their feet and the two exited the lone office as though nothing had happened. The Emperor returned to her work while Dorothea practiced her spells, meeting again for dinner, a night time vigil, and then bed. Both openly undressed before the other, bearing scars of surgical torture and magical backfiring in the open. It was easy to confide the pains of each in the other, soothing the pangs of trauma and body image with unconditional acceptance.

Edelgard took Dorothea’s left hand and began kissing at the first signs of black veins, a nightly ritual never forgotten. She worked her way up to the songstress’ neck, and gave her a small possessive mark on the soft flesh. Dorothea in turn started just over Edelgard’s heart, where the largest mark on her skin resided. She tenderized the marred flesh with kisses of her own, going up and down the Emperor’s torso at will. Sometimes she ended down below, and took the Emperor inside her mouth, other times they would lock lips while Edelgard drove the two to bed, it was always the songstress’ desire that chose.

Tonight she was signalling the latter, and Edelgard agreed without any hesitation, as barring sickness or injury they always ended their days with such an act. It was only after starting that Dorothea started to worry Edelgard somewhat. She kept asking the Emperor to go harder, bite stronger, and grip tighter, to the point where Edelgard couldn’t tell if Dorothea was writhing in pleasure or pain.

“Thea?” She paused to worryingly ask, but the songstress just shook her head.

“Edie, no, don’t stop, I need this!” Dorothea pleaded, but Edelgard was beyond worried now. She pulled out and watched in alarm as Dorothea immediately replaced what had been inside with her hand, furiously stroking and gasping right in front of her love. Edelgard grabbed ahold of Dorothea’s shoulders and shook to get her attention.

“Dorothea, please, tell me what’s wrong?” The songstress slowed to a stop, small sniffles eventually ballooning into a full born cry. Edelgard quickly moved to hug Dorothea, softly stroking the songstress’ back as she wailed into her shoulder. “Why, Thea? Let me help you! Tell me what’s wrong!” Edelgard reiterated once Dorothea had calmed down somewhat.

The songstress continued to sniffle and choke up, but still answered. “It’s the only way I can live with myself, Edie.”

Edelgard was shocked. She loosened up just enough to look into Dorothea’s emerald eyes. They still glittered in the candlelight, but there was a definite weariness and genuine dread that Edelgard had never previously noticed in her lover.

“Dorothea… why… how can you say that?” She heartfeltly asked. Edelgard knew her love struggled with the conflict deeply, but to hear something like this from her, it called into question whether it was worth continuing at all.

“I just…” Dorothea coughed and sputtered, desperately trying to catch enough break to speak her heart. “I don’t feel anything anymore, Edie. I’ve gone numb to it all, the fighting, the killing, the misery, it’s just… noise to me.” Edelgard continued to sit and listen carefully, her only interruption being to grasp Dorothea’s hand and affirm that she still loved her. “So lately I’ve just been desperate to feel anything… sexual pleasure is one, but even just pain is enough. And if I got pregnant? Well, maybe that might make me feel something too.” The songstress lamented. “I just need it to convince myself that I haven’t become a heartless, unfeeling monster, incapable of feeling remorse or pity. But to do that I used you Edie, what does that make me?” 

Edelgard raised Dorothea’s hand and kissed the back. She remembered how eager and happy Dorothea had been during the academy days, only to supposedly be left with this ‘husk’ that she was describing. But the Emperor didn’t think that was the case at all, and she wasn’t going to let the songstress hate herself unopposed. Her job was to improve the lives of all in Fódlan, and if she couldn’t do that with one woman, then what was the point?

“Dorothea… I think you have things backward.” Edelgard claimed, causing Dorothea to look at her with pure bewilderment. “You say you don’t feel anything, and that might make you heartless, but everything you’ve told me suggests the opposite.” She cupped Dorothea’s cheek, gently rubbing, smiling as the songstress leaned into the touch. “That you’re so desperate to make sure you can still feel, and especially greive is evidence enough that you aren’t heartless, you’re still the same caring, loving Dorothea I fell in love with.” Edelgard affirmed, and she sealed it with a kiss.

Dorothea slowly started to come around. She had fresh tears, but Edelgard could see they weren’t sad anymore. “Oh Edie… I really don’t deserve you.” Dorothea earnestly thanked.

Edelgard smiled, gave her love another warm hug. “We all deserve happiness, Thea, no matter where or how it comes from.” She countered. “And if you still need help reminding yourself that you still feel, well, just ask, ok?”

Dorothea nodded, and whispered an agreement. They eventually resorted to just having a normal sleep, curled up in each other’s arms and legs. Dorothea still confided in Edelgard frequently for gratification, though the Emperor made sure the riskier elements of the requests were flatly ignored, for both their safety. Still, the songstress wasn’t healing overnight, there were many days devoted just to reassurance, talking to both Edelgard and Manuela about her fears and worries.  
But a little over a month later two monumental events conspired simultaneously.

Byleth miraculously reappeared at the millennium festival, looking as if hardly a day had passed since that fateful battle. Everyone was overjoyed, and Byleth certainly seemed a little surprised when Edelgard and Dorothea hugged them together. However, something about the event sent a few shivers down the songstress’ spine. She realized that in all the celebration, she might have just missed her time of the month.

Only time would tell if it turned out to be true.

**Author's Note:**

> Thew grew out of a conversation I had in a 3hs rp discord over potential Edelthea relationship snaggles.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it friend!


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